Just a few notes and some thank yous

It was therapy session today with my therapist so a lot of emotions. Mostly good! I try to put on a brave face here as I don’t want to be a “Debbie Downer”.  I do believe laughter is the best medicine. But as we discussed in therapy today you have to share the good and the bad to know yourself as a person and so your friends to know you as well. I am doing very well all told. Mentally and emotionally I am ahead of the physical changes which I admit is a good thing yet does stress me some. First I want the physical changes like NOW lol and second if I had the physical changes now it would not be in time frame I have in mind mostly around work concerns. I know you can’t have it all but damn! 😛 Over last few weeks I’ve had some pretty scary and disturbing dreams where I’m raped and beaten by a group of men and it’s terrifying. I know this relates to the fact one fear of mine about telling the male friends I have which is small number but still seems daunting. Also, I worry that I want to be feminine enough to be seen as decently attractive woman someday yet I am not and never have been attracted to men in any way. It’s the inner conflict and balancing act of to be a woman gender wise but sexually still be interested in only women. Hope that makes sense.

Ok, enough of that. I want to thank those of you who have followed me and commented. It means more to me than you may know to be able to share this with you. Please feel free to comment on anything and even ask me questions here. I love hearing from all of you. Friendship is a two way street of give and take, ups and downs, laughter and tears. Never be afraid to ask me anything or express your feelings as it is a huge help to let me see things from a different perspective and viewpoint. This is a journey and I love all of you for taking part of it with me.

XXX – Jess