Hello,
I am Jess and to be more precise I am becoming Jess. I am intersexed. I was born as Jeff. Let me just come out and say that all this I never knew was possible so surprise and shock may come to mind! After 50 plus years I was told I was born intersexed. What is intersexed? The Intersex Society of North America uses this definition: “Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. For example, a person might be born appearing to be female on the outside, but having mostly male-typical anatomy on the inside. Or a person may be born with genitals that seem to be in-between the usual male and female types. Or a person may be born with mosaic genetics, so that some of her cells have XX chromosomes and some of them have XY.
To briefly explain when I was born I had all the correct anatomy of a male. I was raised as a boy and considered myself a boy. My family and I had no idea otherwise. Fast forward until I’m 50 years of age. They found a non-cancerous tumor on my pituitary gland. I received meds that over time shrank and eventually destroyed the tumor. Two more year pass and blood tests show I had decreased testosterone levels AND elevated estrogen levels. Men normally have a small natural level of estrogen but mine was a good deal higher than the norm. I felt confused and frustrated why the doctors had no explanation. About six more month pass and I began having some very low abdominal and groin pain. It was suggested I may have kidney stones but as I had them before I felt this was something different. I first had an ultrasound done and the tech said well it’s not kidney stones but there’s something there I can’t explain. She couldn’t and didn’t say more. I was worried that day I had cancer! I then had a CT scan done and the tech for that never said a word even after I asked so I was convinced I had cancer. When I followed up with my doc she told me it’s not cancer and was so relieved. It was then she explained – well you have some extra parts. She went on to tell me I had ovaries and fallopian tubes. I was speechless at first. I was then like – how? When? Why? She told me it can and does happen. Not often but it does. I was then referred back to an endocrinologist.
My visit to the endocrinologist did answer many questions but also raised more. After some hormone and even genetic tests shows I have mosaic chromosome genetics. My DNA instead of matching male to male on each strand – one is male and other female. This resulted in me being born with internal female sex organs. I never developed and female characteristics due to the tumor on my pituitary gland which must have developed before I entered puberty thus keeping female hormone production in check along with female physical characteristics. I was born what used to be termed a true hermaphrodite. This is by no means common yet it happens more than most people know.
I was given a few choices.
1. Have surgery to remove the ovaries and fallopian tubes. The issue here was my ovaries and testicles share the same blood flow and supply and would result in complications such as impotence and effect even my prostrate and bladder. I would require testosterone therapy the rest of my life.
2. Undergo a series of hormone therapy that would start by trying to reset my hormones and then over months try to reset to normal hormone levels for a male with normal testosterone levels and at same time reset hormone levels of estrogen to very low.
3. Do nothing and over time I would start developing female characteristics.
I opted for option #2. Over a six month period it was a roller coaster ride of emotions and hormones. In the end it was not successful. My body was telling me I should be a female it seemed and any extra testosterone was converted to estrogen and progesterone instead. I gained a lot of weight as the estrogen told my body to store fat. After talking to my wife over a period of months I couldn’t go through with trying option #1. This means option #3 is the result. I have discovered through all this I have the best wife ever. Her support has been like a rock amidst all the changes and craziness. Instead of feeling depressed and angry I am trying to use this support to make the best of it. I was surprised to learn through some psychological therapy that as a man went I always seemed to have a greater deal of womanly traits psychologically which does explain some things in my life regarding my family and my children. Another thing that stood out is I always had many more female friends than male and always felt more comfortable around women. It has been eye opening and insightful in ways I never understood until now.
It was just about eight months ago I decided to become Jess. I am doing well, at least better than even I expected. I still spend much of my time as Jeff such as for work but spend more and more time as Jess. I feel overwhelmed how to speak about all I am feeling, thinking and experiencing. I will try to do so more often and in smaller, more focused posts so as not feel so daunting to me to write about it. I am a work in progress – as are well all in our own ways.
– Jess
interjess 